This weekend, we celebrate the 8th Sunday in Ordinary Time as we get ready to start the holy season of Lent this Wednesday. We will not return to Ordinary Time again until the middle of June. As I was reading today’s Gospel, I thought about how all of you, the people in the pew, want to know how our faith and the teachings of Jesus intersect with our daily lives, how it affect we live each day.
This Sunday, we hear a very challenging Gospel message, as Jesus tells us that we should notice the large wooden beam in our own eye before we notice and criticize the splinter in our neighbor’s eye. So I thought about what application today’s Gospel message might have on the way we live each day. I thought about those things that plague us in our lives and hinder us on our journey of faith. One of the things I hear again and again in the sacrament of reconciliation is the way most of us struggle with anger. We can lash out in anger before we know what is going on. We might not even realize what is setting us off. Anger seems to be an emotion that is taking over our lives and taking over our modern world. However, we need to deal with our anger in a constructive manner because it will hurt our relationship with God and our relationship with our brothers and sisters if we don’t. Our anger can also have very negative affects on our physical, spiritual, and mental health, and on the physical, spiritual, and mental health of others.
We need to recognize, however, that there is a difference between righteous and unrighteous anger. The prophets in the Old Testament had valid reasons to be angry, as they saw the people worship false idols and turn away from the one true God. Jesus got angry at different times in the Gospels as well, such as the time he confronted the money changers in the Temple. We still need to deal with righteous anger in a constructive, healthy way. Unrighteous anger is something else. Based on how we perceive a given situation, we may get angry and blow that situation out of proportion. Unrighteous anger can happen when someone blows up in road rage or lashes out at someone when they disagree with his point of view. We can see that happening in political discussions all the time these days, can’t we.
We need to realize that when we try to deal with anger is an appropriate way, our relationships in our personal lives and in the workplace are usually enhanced. Here is an example of that. You can imagine that in my work in the finance office in the Diocese right now, with the challenging situation we have been under, things can get a little tense sometimes. Other priests or bookkeepers at other parishes can lash out at me and my staff at the finance office. There was an incident that recently happened that left me speechless and angry too, how one of my finance office staff was treated. I had a conversation at the parish where it happened, confronting the situation. In the end, I would say that the other priest and I cleared up the situation and hopefully averted any future misunderstandings. However, the opposite can happen when anger is repressed or expressed in a destructive way; then our relationships can easily deteriorate.
So, how can we deal with our anger in a way that is appropriate to our journey of discipleship? First and most, importantly, we can take time tout and cool down. Don’t make that phone call and don’t send that email when your anger is getting the best of you. When that situation happened to me with that other parish, I waited two weeks before I confronted the priest, letting emotions calm down.
Also, it is important take time to reflect and pray. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you look at the true cause of your anger and help you decide the best way to handle it. Ask the Blessed Mother through the rosary pray to give you patience and a clear vision.
We can also talk to a friend or a trusted advisor. They can give us an objective opinion and help you identify options you might not have thought about. And just by saying the words out loud to another person, we can see what is going on in a clear light.
One thing that is important is to not deny how you are feeling. If you are angry, admit you are angry and try to deal with it in an honest, constructive way. Try to identify what you are angry about. If you try to deny your anger, it can fester and can manifest itself in some really awful ways in your life.
Finally, going through an examination of conscience and the sacrament of reconciliation on a regular basis can help us better deal with our anger and be more proactive in living out our Catholic faith.
If we are not used to expressing our anger in a positive, constructive way, dealing with our anger will take time, effort, and prayer. It is not easy dealing with our anger, that is for sure. But, if we are going to truly live as disciples of Christ, we must find ways to develop the virtues and the skills to deal with our anger.
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